Lies manipulation and deceit…the stuff women are made of?

I thought the title might catch your attention.

Having been the wife of a church staff member for many years I hate to say it, but most of the trouble in the church comes from women. And the men at this point of the article are saying AMEN, but hold on. If the men would take on the mantel of a Christ-like spiritual leader perhaps we wouldn’t have so many women in the church not striving to bring glory to God in all their ways.

I think the apostle Paul may have known what he was talking about when he encouraged women to keep quiet in the church. There is some background to that verse. Perhaps Paul was working with a womens committee. Now don’t get me wrong. I am no weak-willed, quiet, doormat woman. On the contrary, I am very opinionated. I am also stubborn, short-tempered, sarcastic and always right. Thank goodness, that God is still dealing with me in these areas. I recognize them about myself. I hear in counseling situations that is the first step to recovery.

Let’s step back a minute and look at one story in the Old Testament. I love this story. There is so much dysfunction here, we should all have hope. The woman in this story sure had a hard time keeping quiet and in line with God. I hope you can follow my attempt at keeping the characters straight. Isaac and Rebekah were the parents of twin boys, Jacob and Esau. Now Isaac, Abraham’s son was forty years old when he married Rebekah and he was sixty when the twins were born. When Rebekah was pregnant with the twins God spoke to her and said. “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from with you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.”

Let’s look at two characters for a minute before we move forward in our story.

Isaac was the chosen son of Abraham, but Abraham had another son Ishmael. The son he bore with Hagar. Fast forward now to Isaac’s own sons. Look at what scripture says” When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. “Right here Isaac is dishing out what he saw modeled between himself and his half-brother: favoritism. Yes, God was going to build a nation through Isaac, but Ishmael was still a son and brother in this family. Of all people, Isaac should know better. I am sure the relationship between he and Ishmael is not a good one and Isaac is planting those same seeds between his own sons.

Rebekah is also no saint in the matter. She also had her favorite, and remember God had already told them what was to become of the boys. As Isaac is getting older, the time to pass on the blessing is coming. Rebekah knows this and she deceives her own husband. Did she think that God wouldn’t fulfill His promise? Did she think she had to take things into her own hands as so many people do? What she does destroys the relationships in this family for years to come. When we think we can fix something with deceit we are only causing unnecessary circumstances that sometimes take years to overcome. I have a feeling this isn’t the only time in her life she deceived and manipulated.

For her to do this in such a bold manner, she had probably been working it for many years. Jacob should never have gone along with his mother. That shows what Jacob believed about God. I guess he also didn’t think God was big enough to fulfill his promise without help. Jacob himself has trouble with women a few years down the road. He must flee from home because after Isaac dies Esau is going to kill him. So mom steps in to the rescue and sends him to her brother’s house. Where we see deception once again. This time Jacob is the victim. Could it be Rebekah saw this in her own family and is just passing on the family tradition?

The great thing about this story is that God still uses them. Just like He will still use you and me. We cannot mess up God’s plans. However, we should also learn that we should do it His way. He doesn’t need us to use deception and manipulation to follow His will.

Someone in the family scenario above needed to break the chain of manipulation and deception that had crept into the family. What is it in your life that has crept in that you might not be aware of? Is it a loose tongue, other gods, arrogance, resisting authority, selfishness or perhaps an addiction. All us have something or if you are like me many things. It is a daily act of repentance and self-examination that will begin to weaken and eventually break the chain of bondage that is in your life and is being passed on to your family.

There are so many lessons we as women could learn from the above story. Maybe the first one should be to heed Paul’s warning to lead a quiet life, and let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, only what is good for building others up. Just maybe we also need to check ourselves, and make sure we are not manipulating our husbands or our circumstances to get what we want. As Rebekah learned from first hand experience our manipulation can destroy a family and a relationship even though the motive was to bring about what we believed to be God’s will.

Oh the power of a woman’s influence with her husband, something as women we should all seriously consider. If only the first women had taken a moment more to think about it.